I have no idea what a blog is meant to contain, or what constitutes a good one, but i have started this one to track my journey to find a better me.
What has urged me to start this is the looming start date of the 12WBT. I was a bit hesitant to do a blog, but have decided that this a safe place to start.
A little about me - i am 22 years old and have struggled with my weight for what seems like forever. Maybe i should say body image, more than weight. I remember when i was 5 thinking that i was fat. Needless to say i wasn't.
I was diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance after much heartache and weight-gain at 18. I felt angry for a long time that the DR's ignored my pleas for help, when it seemed i couldn't do anything to stem the weight gain. After finally finding an amazing Dr. i am on medication and have started embarking on what is a very emotional issue.
In my relatively short life i am sick of the people who think that loosing weight is easy. Well if it was easy i think i would of already succeeded. Yes, on paper it looks easy, but when you add in emotional and medical issues, it can seem like an uphill battle that you can never win.
Slowly i am trying to love myself. It's so hard sometimes. I don't know why, i have the best family and a boyfriend that loves me. But for some reason i keep punishing myself, for something that is not even my fault. Some days are easy, and some hard, but all i can do is keep trying and not give up, it's OK to go slow, as long as you don't stop.
Sometimes this journey feels lonely, and i guess it is, because while people can empathize they never can understand the exact way you are feeling, or the desperation that can come with never feeling good enough.
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